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I wanted to add this...

Credit Card Machine Problems Solved!

Thanks to a very kind woman named Donna at Airborne, we were able to get the correct airbill number and record of receipt for the credit card processing software we'd returned. We faxed it to the credit card processing company. Within a few days, the $499.00 appeared in our bank account. I can't believe it. I thought it would never end. (Or at least not end equitably.) Not that this restores my faith in anything, but it was nice.

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Actually, this was written on 29 August 2001. Just getting to posting it now ...

Tama Janowitz

I’ve said that it’s exciting to have worked with Tama Janowitz. It’s a strange thing I would have thought about, but never expected to actually happen. I mean, who am I to be talking to best-selling novelists? (The most surreal part of my life right now is that she’s not the only best-selling author with whom I’ve talked.) Today Tama got a baby angora ferret from Marc at Parrots of the World. We were supposed to meet her there but we were a little late, and she had to catch a train back home. But I’m glad she got the ferret. She’s wanted an angora. Now she has one. I hope he (she?) blends in with her existing business easily. Maybe I’ll tell her the secret to creating a lap ferret.

While I was on the phone with Tama this morning, trying to set up the angora thing with Marc (nothing like leaving these things to the last moment), she mentioned that she liked the editorial I wrote about being able to get back to just enjoying healthy ferrets (after a year of tending to sick ferrets). Neat.

Animals

We went to Parrots of the World today to photograph a bunch of different little animals. I’d never really thought about it very much, the different kinds of animals and their temperaments.

First we photographed some type of hamsters. Very cute. But they liked to nip a little. They moved kind of quickly. Then we photographed gerbils. Way too fast! I can’t imagine being a little kid and enjoying these speedy little things. My older brothers and I had gerbils when we were children; mine was named Frito Bandito, Mark’s was named Speedy Gonzales, I don’t remember what Mike called his gerbil. Then we went on to some other kind of hamster, smaller, just as inclined to speed off as the first hamsters. These weren’t nippy really, but seemed somewhat delicate for grubby children’s hands.

Then came the mice. Docile, sweet little mice. They moseyed around, climbed on my hand, and sniffed me. I rather liked them. We’d had ... well, Mike and Mark had mice when we were slightly older kids. They were all white, I think. There’s a whole chapter about the mice. Not a nice chapter, so it’ll have to wait. I could see kids with mice.

Guinea Pigs (actually, cavies). It’s like shooting a still life. These are, by far, the nicest little animals for children, I think. They’re sturdier than some of the hamsters and gerbils and such, and they’re less likely to run off. True, this might make them boring. But they do come in very pretty colors. I call the tri-colored Guinea Pigs “Neapolitan” like the tri-colored ice cream.

Next came the chinchilla. Very soft. What else would you say about a chinchilla? We’d just finished photographing the chinchilla when some kids and their mom wandered downstairs where we were taking the photos. The three little girls were enamored of the chinchilla. I couldn’t answer most of their questions. Their mom commented that it was terrible that they make them into “... you know.” I guess she didn’t want to upset the girls. Or herself, maybe. The further horror of making chinchillas into coats is how tiny the animals are -- how many have to die for just one jacket. The chinchilla was a little jumpy, though I suppose when they’re used to their environment and their humans, they do better.

Finally, rabbits. The lop-eared bunny kept bobbing his head. I’m sure this meant something in rabbit. The brown bunny was more static. For children? Maybe.

The most amazing part of the photoshoot was that I didn’t have an allergy or asthma attack.

Ranting

I hate when I get annoyed like this. I just found out that people who we helped out early on have betrayed us in a sense -- again. Funny how when it benefits them, it’s “we’re all little guys, we’re friends, we have to help each other out,” but as soon as they’re on the giving end it’s “just business.”

Advice: Never become friends with business associates. They are not your friends. Do not believe them if they claim to be your friends. They are not your friends. They will turn on you. They will hurt you. It’s OK to pretend you’re friends, but always know that you are not friends.

As they used to say on Hill Street Blues: “Do it to them before they do it to you.”

Lesson learned.

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Well, that didn’t help.

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The saga of the credit card processing company continues. Now they’ve charged us for the software that didn’t work, and that we returned to them, and the terminal and printer. But that’s not the whole story -- no! It’s not enough that they screwed us like that. They also say they never got the software back (they claim they have no way to log it in) so we have to obtain proof of delivery from Airborne. But that’s not all! Airborne says they don’t have a proper record of that delivery. Now we have to wait to see if Airborne can figure out what their driver did when he picked up the software with the call tag from Nova. So where does that leave us? Out $499.00 that I’m quite sure we’ll never get back. Meaning that the terminal that should have cost us $411.00 has now reached a total of $1,201.00. It’s no wonder we had to drop our health insurance.

Advice: Trust no one. Get everything in writing. Take names.

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That didn’t help either.

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The Good News Is ...

The good news is that right on the heels of the New York Post piece, I’m quoted in Time Out New York and one of Eric’s photos is featured prominently this week. It’s an article about ferrets in New York City. A positive ferret piece. Some time soon it should be up on their web site. I'll let you know.

Weird surprise -- the bluelines for Issue #31 arrived on Friday morning. The film had only gotten up there on Wednesday. Fast! They should have the blues tomorrow morning (well, later this morning). The issue will be in print before we know it!

Did I Mention...?

I was updating the database today when I came across several little notes from subscribers. Just a line or two jotted onto the renewal form. These little notes always make me feel good. I don't know how many people write little notes on their renewal forms to other magazines -- I'm guessing not many, though I could be wrong. Even so, how many times do the people responsible for the editorial actually get to see those comments? It's encouraging that people feel moved to send a little message on their renewal form. After all, the renewal itself is a message of approval.

Little notes like that make my day.

Jackie Chan

A few days ago I mentioned that I love Jackie Chan. Eric and I finally got to see the movie (Rush Hour 2). Not that I didn't like it well enough, but I prefer when he gets to clown around a little more. I hope he does more movies like Shanghai Noon. That was more reminiscent of his older Hong Kong stuff where he just seemed to be having more fun. Maybe it's that he was younger then. Maybe it's that he was usually choreographing the stunts and all that. At any rate, it was great to get my Jackie Chan fix.

Blah Blah Blah

We never made it to the movies. Maybe on Thursday or Friday. Tomorrow we get to have dinner with all the parents. It'll be nice.

The heat here is terrible. I get a few steps outside and I'm overcome. Rain, please.

Balthazar has decided it's winter. He's all chubby and eating constantly. He's always been a little off, shedding cycle-wise. When he's fat, he's fun to cuddle. I should try to get a chubby Bal picture up here.

Now that Issue #31 is at the printer I get to update the database and finish sending off publicity letters. Then there's the last edits on the book. And the movies. I've got to see the movies.

For now, I'm going to get some sleep. The ferrets are slowing down for the night and I'm ready for bed.

Today was my Mother's birthday. She would have been 66.

I’m putting another new piece of writing up on Shefferman.com. It’s about chickens. Well, chicken sh*t, actually. I should get it on the site by Tuesday or Wednesday.

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The new issue is at the printer. We’ve already started getting some press! There was a story in today’s (Sunday’s) New York Post about ferrets -- it was basically Tama Janowitz’s comments on ferrets. They ran a huge picture of the cover of the issue. Very cool. Thanks to Julia Szabo (she’s the Post’s pet columnist).

Birthday

Thursday is my birthday. I’m not exactly dreading it. After all, there’s nothing I can do to stop it. It’s coming. That’s all there is to it.

But for some reason, this birthday has made me reassess my life. It isn’t pretty. At least the way my eyesight is at the moment, it isn’t. Whatever I’ve accomplished is clouded by what I have yet to accomplish. There’s a sense of urgency and a paralyzing fear of running out of time. O! The melodrama!

Seriously, this birthday is disturbing to me because I will be the age my Mother was when she died. It’s eerie. Uneasy. At the point in my Mother’s life where I am now, she was dying. In the hospital.

I feel like I’m playing out a role and I’m powerless to stop it. Like obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors. I look at where I am and think, “If I died in October, what would I leave undone?” What did my Mother leave undone? It’s a different question with a different answer now that I’ve lived as long as she did, than it was when I was twelve or twenty.

That’s probably it. The life reassessment. The urgency. The desire to turn it all off and do something completely unrelated to anything I normally do.

Tomorrow Eric and I will go see the new Jackie Chan movie. I love Jackie Chan. I love the way he moves -- even if he’s just walking across a room to sit down. There’s something particularly magical about him because it’s not magic at all. It’s hard training and self-discipline. Like ferrets with their persistence and their sense of humor and dedication to play, there’s something to learn from Jackie Chan, too.

Besides, the two hours will be two hours that I clear my mind of anything dark. It’s summer. It’s a good time for letting in some light.

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On the topic of movies

I actually sat through Waterworld the other night. Sometimes all we can feel is the pain. I just wanted to see how bad it really was. How can people -- so many people (as there are involved in making a film) -- read something God-awful and go ahead and sink millions of dollars into it anyway? It just doesn’t make sense. Did someone read the whole script? Didn’t someone realize that the characters had no characterization? The plot had no story?

Now I know how bad it was.