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Two mostly sunny days in a row! It's like spring or something.

I broke the washing machine last night. I'm not sure what's broken, but it won't spin anymore (it does everything else, which is why I'm stuck bailing out a washer-ful of water). I'm annoyed. But things happen.

My brain is dull today, which I've read could be one of the effects of fibromyalgia. I don't like it. I finally get the depression under control and I can think more clearly, and this new thing comes up and steals it from me.

That's all.

--Mary

Rain

I am tired of all this rain. I thought spring was supposed to be sunny. Or, at the very least, it's supposed to be: "April showers bring May flowers." Here it is nearly the end of May and it's only in the 50's and low 60's here on Long Island. My joints hurt because the rain is affecting my mood; I find it hard to motivate with all this gray weather. If anyone knows how to influence the skies, send me an e-mail. Thanks.

New York City Driving

I used to be terrified of driving in New York City, but now it doesn't bother me at all. The magic of medication, I suppose. I don't get flustered in traffic. It's very odd to me to be calm in situations like that. Odd, but nice, of course. It's nice to feel like you can do things. I spent a lot of my life nervous. I'm serious. I'd be nervous about everything.

Related: That news story about Rod McKuen yesterday.

He said he fell into a depression about 10 years ago and finally climbed out with the help of Prozac. I think it's good that celebrities/famous people of all types talk about taking medications for depression -- or just about depression. But one thing confuses me a bit -- I'll have to look it up -- is there any difference between "clinical" and "major" depression? Clinical depression doesn't sound as bad as major depression, but they could be the same thing. I'd been diagnosed with clinical depression back in my twenties, but this recent bout was diagnosed as major depression. I'll go do some research and report back.

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Until later. --Mary

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So ... it looks like "clinical depression" is a catchall phrase for all types of depression. I guess different docs use different terminology. At least that's what it looks like to me. You'd think I'd know this stuff in my sleep, being that I've had problems with depression for much of my life.

--Mary

Here's a Good Quote:

"People often say 'I live for my art.' Bullshit!
If you are given a talent it's to be used. It's not in the private domain."
- Rod McKuen
I've never been a big fan of McKuen. I've found his stuff too accessible (as if that's a fault, but it's how I feel). But I just love that he said "Bullshit!" ... and I think that quote is something to be plastered on every artist's wall.

Dog Show

Eric and I went to a dog show yesterday. In the rain. We wanted to look at the bearded collies. Eric took some pictures; when they're developed we'll see what we have and I'll post some up here so you know what a bearded collie is (it's probably not what you think it is). If I wasn't feel a bit lazy right now, I'd put up a link to a bearded collie site. But I'm feeling a bit lazy.

Pop

I've finally decided to talk to my father about the book I want to write. It means I'll get to spend more time with him and hear all his wonderful stories again. I'm pretty sure he'll be flattered. I'd hate for the world not to know the enjoyment of listening to my father. He's had a lot of very interesting and amusing adventures in his life. My only concern is whether I can capture his voice in the writing. We'll see. I think I can do that.

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That's about it for now. --Mary

Waffles

I burned my wrist on the stupid waffle maker today. The waffles weren't even very good. I made them from scratch using a recipe out of one of our cookbooks. I had to start making it last night, let it sit, and then separate eggs and whip up the whites this morning. What a pain in the ass.

Dog Show

This past Sunday, Eric and I went to a dog show. We went mostly to look at the bearded collies (not like Lassie, more like a smaller version of an Old English Sheepdog with a long tail). We found a breeder in New Jersey who we really like and we've kept in touch with him, so when we're ready to get a dog, we know where to get one. We saw him at the show and talked with him for a while and got to spend some time with some of his beardies (as they are called). It was very pleasant. The weather was fabulous.

Movie

Yesterday, we saw the X-Men II movie. It was so-so. It seemed like a lot was edited out that would have made the movie go a little more smoothly. Just my opinion. But it was nice to see a movie.

Now...

Today is a work day. I'm hoping to get a lot done. Right now I'm on hold, waiting to get my doctor to call in a new prescription for my asthma medicine. I've been on hold for a while and it's getting annoying.

Not much else is new, really. Just slowly getting things done (obviously very slowly). Tonight is the series finale of Buffy and season finales of Frasier and NYPD Blue. So I have until 8 pm to be productive. -- Mary

Weather Report

It's a lovely start to the day here on Long Island -- but it won't last. I'm tired of all the rain. And the pollen. Soon it will be over and I can start complaining about the heat. :o)

Ferrets

Gabby has been playing with her Gumabone. Well, playing may not be the right word. She hides it, walks away, comes back, re-hides it, walks away, and does this for a good 15 or so minutes before going on to some other activity. She and Balthazar used to fight over the Gumabones, so we didn't let them have them. Gabby is very happy to have her Gumabone. It's funny how we always hear that ferrets aren't territorial, and yet some are very much so. Ralph was very possessive of his ball with the bell in it, Cauliflower was possessive of his cage, and Bal was possessive of the Gumabones (as Gabby is now). Even giving each ferret his/her own Gumabone didn't help. They'd each covet the other's and try to stockpile the two Gumabones. It invariably led to some mean-spirited squabbles, which is why we simply didn't let them have the Gumabones. Cheweasels did the same thing to Knuks and to Trixie. It was like feeding Gremlins after midnight. Mild-mannered, sweet little ferrets seemed to grow horns and huge teeth when Cheweasels were at issue. Even cutting up the toy-treats and giving each ferret his/her own piece didn't work: each would hide his/her own piece and go after someone else's. It was mayhem. It brought out a part of the ferrets that was none too attractive. Ferrets do love their special toys.

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That's about it. I know, not much to say. I'm still very involved with working on designs for t-shirts and things for web sites and with finishing off pages of the magazine. It's slow going as I've been trying to hammer out things with health insurance, too. --Mary

Sunday

It always comes back to Sunday. Or Friday. Or any other day. When you work at home, every day melts into the next. It can be disorienting. But there's also a sense that work is something you just do -- a part of your life to enjoy, not a sentence to be waited out. I've been having great fun making new designs for T-shirts and stuff. The store is nowhere near as finished as I'd like it to be, but it's a good start. The question is how to promote it.

What of the ferret stuff? We're hoping to finish up the Modern Ferret issue in another two weeks. Many pages are finished. We need some photos and I need to write a bit more. I think I can do the writing thing, now that I've done some of the T-shirt designs. Sometimes you need to pursue a different type of creative endeavor to freshen the older one. I'm trying now to put creativity in everything I do -- it makes me feel like myself.

Ticket

I got a ticket the other day. Overdue inspection. I've been meaning to do the stupid thing, but haven't gotten to it yet. Now I have to pay $30.00 and send proof of inspection. Stupid Great Neck police. They really don't have anything better to do than dole out tickets for minor violations. I suppose that's a bit of a tribute to them -- though the real crime deterrent is that it's a wealthy community, not anywhere near a poor one. So the police wander the parking lots in search of violations. Must be kind of boring -- but safe. --Mary